Bathroom Duh

A Bathroom Duh

Are you a woman? If so, chances are you've violated this bathroom "duh," so I'd like to take a moment to educate you on bathroom etiquette. When using the restroom, please do not sit RIGHT NEXT to an occupied stall. If there are a multitude of open stalls, please keep at least one space in between used stalls. Why, you may ask? It is the polite thing to do, when doing your business, the last thing you want is someone right next to you - it is like an intrusion! 

You might as well just open the door and stand there and watch. We aren't best friends, we don't need to use stalls right next to each other! Even if we were best friends I'd say "hey, bestie, move down a few stalls." Moving down a few spaces allows for me to think, in solitude. After all, this is really why I'm there in the first place. A stall space (minimum) allows a sound barrier. 

There are a few exceptions to this rule: is there are large, poisonous creature guarding the distant stalls? Go ahead and use the one next to me. Same applies if the stall is in poor condition. 

Remember the rule of thirds: stall #1 occupied? Skip stall #2, and number #3 is your friend.

P.S. Wash your hands. No exceptions.